#confession 224

[star-trek-fandom-confessions]

#224

"As a Sam Kirk fan, I love the memes saying he looks like Guy Fleegman from Galaxy Quest."

Guy Fleegman pic from this gifset.

[rededgecitycouncil]

I wanna see an Emma/Kiara photoshoot -- Anon @kiaraxlangford @emmatheeklund

[jttwconfessions]

Monkey King: Hero is Back I feel is very slept on when, in my honest opinion, feels like peak Wukong. He was also probably a few people's furry awakening but they're too afraid to say.

[sickuma]

Hello, this maybe kinda out of the fiction you always write. But can i ask for some doctor x reader fanfiction? Make it angst please, i will pay for my therapy bills!! 😁😁😁

PATIENT AT ROOM 224 — a Miguel O'hara fiction.

❱ The first actual request ill cover! I have a few lined up but I wanted to do this one first since I got the idea^^ tysm for the request <3 I hope this is to your liking (●'◡'●) Also if some things don't make sense, I barely know things about hospitals pardon me, I'm 15 and have yet to learn more about such gaahhh this one is pretty long!

ꜝ？ Warning. . angst! mentions of chronic illness, death, and such. ﹟paring | doctor Miguel x patient reader

➴ SYNOPSIS — You suffer from an illness without a cure, and your doctor Miguel tries hard to fasten the pace of formulating that cure. Time is not in your favor, you have one wish and it's to see the ocean for the last time. Along with your goodbyes, he revealed a confession.

NEPENTHE — (n.) An ancient Greek word, nepenthe is defined as a medicine for sorrow. It is a place, person, or thing, which can aid in forgetting your pain and suffering.

It’s been four years,

Four years since the hospital became your home, four years since this became your reality. Exactly four years since you’ve been a prisoner of your own health, in constant risk of losing your life. It took a while to accept, but four years have passed, and you knew there was nothing else you can do but sit and wait for the inevitable.

A part of you never let go of that speck of hope,

Maybe you still have a chance, maybe you can still live. You want to live. Despite being quiet and accepting of your situation, the fear was undeniably there, and it grows every day. You don't want to die, you’re scared, it’s frightening. 

It seems you’re not the only one feeling that way,

In front of you stood your doctor, Miguel. He’s been in charge of you for years now, he’s been there since the very beginning. It’s starting to feel like he’s the only person you have ever since your family seldom visited. He had a nonchalant disposition, a permanent scowl on his face, and yet he feels homely.

“vitals are stable,” he spoke flatly, scribbling something on his paper. He had the glasses he wears on certain occasions, looking serious as always.

On most days he’s kept to himself, and on some rare occasions, he would speak to you. Things that aren't needed for your health, basic conversations that brought your head out of your wilting life. You appreciated that, knowing he isn't the type to converse or talk about personal topics. You always notice how his eyes look when he’d lay them on you,

Sorrowful? You’re unsure. But there’s definitely a hint of sadness in them, the type of look someone gives when they need to get something off their chest as if he needed to say something urgent. He never does. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks, placing his clipboard down the table. Looking at you expectantly, his tone was gentler, softer, something his colleagues would find unusual. You smile at him like you always do, which he always found pleasant. “Just like the usual.” “No aches? How about your difficulty with breathing?”

“None.” you lie, You know it’s stupid to be lying to your own doctor but the last time you told him about it, he looked destroyed. You find out he didn't sleep a wink that week, checking the lab and giving them consistent assistance in finding the cure. Breathing isn't that hard—you've grown used to it. You didn't want to cause him that state ever again. You're aware of your condition, and you can almost predict what the future will be, there was no need to stress him out more than he already is.

He looked at you, searching for any signs of lies only for you to chuckle at him. Stifling a laugh which actually made it difficult to breathe, but that didn't matter. “I’m feeling great.”

He sighed, taking his glasses off to massage his temple. “Are you okay?” you ask, tilting your head slightly. “Just worried.” you smile at his response, it’s nice to know someone cares enough to worry for you. But surely he’s only doing it for the sake of his job, it’s his duty to worry for you, still it felt nice.

“Do you think I’ll ever see the ocean again? I want to visit the beach, is there a chance?” you drift the subject subtly. It was your turn to look at him expectantly, for a brief moment he had a look of guilt, you know well why. “If I can, I want to see the ocean again.” 

“Soon,” he mumbles, turning away from you to open a drawer. “You just—I’ll take you there. When things get a little loose, I’ll take you to see the ocean.”

“You will?”

He was shaken, stumped but he can't let you see that. Gathering what’s left of his solace, solace which you've been providing for the last few years.  "We'll see the ocean."

"That's a promise."

The reason why he’s so gentle with you, why he sugarcoats the rough truth as much as he can, why he promises you such things, he doesn’t know why. With you he feels a sense of solace, was it when you speak? The sound of your voice? that mellow look in your eyes? What is it? Countless sleepless nights were earned simply because he tries to find the answer, no matter how much he distances himself to do his job properly and realistically,

You would always be sitting up on that bed, glancing up at him with your tired expectant eyes accompanied by the gentlest smile he has ever come across with. Before he knows it, he’s promising you a cure that probably won't be formulated until a few years. Until you’re not able to wake anymore.

“Rest up, I’ll do another test tomorrow.” “Do you really promise?” you pry, looking up at him with a smile. A genuine one.

“Yeah, I promise.”

﹐

“The patient at room 224, [name] right?” another doctor spoke from behind him, stopping him dead in his tracks, hearing your name. “Their vitals. It wasn't stable.” “You’re lying to them, Miguel.”

Miguel breathes in, turning to look at the owner of the voice. His gentle complexion faded away, replaced by his common scowl. “How long will you foolishly wait for this cure?”

"It takes years, Miguel. Centuries even, to formulate a cure, you of all people know that." the man spoke with worry, Miguel knew he was only concerned and yet he felt almost enraged.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"This isn't about opinions. That person, they're suffering. God, we need to let them rest, we have the family's wish." argued the man, he now had a frown on his face clearly unsure of Miguel’s intentions. “You’re letting their weak heart grasp on a false hope.”

"What about their wish?" he was angry, and he expressed it freely. “The family’s wish? The same family who barely visited them?”

He breathes in his frustration, he can't afford to lose his cool. Especially now that you're in a terrible state.

His colleague was silenced. Looking at him with hesitance.

"Why are you insisting so much? You're a doctor, they're your patient. You have a duty."

"That duty is to protect and keep them alive," Miguel interjects, he’s had enough of this argument, he hated it. He hated how right his colleague was, and yet he choose to be stubborn. "They want to live."

"And I'll make sure of that."

"You have never been this determined for a patient, especially when you know full well what the outcome will be." he waved his hand upwards, stressed at Miguel’s foolish antics "It's inevitable. It's a chronic illness for God's sake."

For the first time, he's stumped, he doesn't have the answer. All he knows is that he wants to keep you alive, he needs to keep you alive,

For your sake or his?

He stares at you, lying on the bed just as you've been for half of the year. Exhaustion is evident even with your sleeping form, Your life was faltering, you know it, He knows it. And yet for some reason, it's a fact he can't accept. For years of his profession, not once has he cared this much for a person.

It was more than that. 

For years of working in this hospital, not once has he been fazed over a patient's condition. No matter how heartless that sounded, he never cared to this extent.

Yet the idea of putting you down hunts him. The idea of putting you down as if you're some sort of animal without control over your own life, without a say in your own life. It taunts him,

To the point he struggles to sleep, often staying up to check up on the cure's status. Staying up worrying about the passing time,

"If I can, I want to see the ocean again."

His eyes squint in conflict, memories of your sorrowful wish passing through his mind. If he could show you the ocean, he would. If he could show you the world you missed out on, he would. You deserved it, more than anyone, you deserved everything he can give. 

He felt enraged, not because of the workload he has to push through. But for not knowing why it hurts him so much to witness you wilt, he feels confused and conflicted. The growing ache in his heart adding up to his stress,

“I'll talk to them tomorrow Miguel.” his colleague decided sternly, “ill tell them the truth and they will decide. You can watch but you can’t oppose.”

He walks away, leaving Miguel before he could even respond or disagree. Frustration surges through him though it can't compare to how helpless he felt. This was his only way of helping you, even that can get taken away, it feels like a stab in the throat. Slamming his office door shut, he sat on the chair, palming his face. “fuck.”

﹐

“What's happening here?”

Miguel spoke with a perplexed look, there were about 4 people inside your room. Papers in their hands. While you laid on the bed, signing the papers obediently, looking even weaker than the day before. “Miguel!”

You greet him with that stupid smile you always have, why were you smiling? Miguel could feel his nerves rise, seeing all the people and how they looked at him with fright.

“[name] what’s this?” he looks at you, pushing through the people to draw near you.

“They're fixing the documents for the euthanasia.”

He didn't open his mouth to speak for a few minutes, gathering enough strength and making sure he heard you correctly. “Get the hell out.”

He didn't need to repeat it, a man took the signed papers from you and everyone left the room shortly. Leaving you with an angry man who used to be the gentle Miguel who visited you daily to promise you a better life. “Why?”

He asks. He knew he was acting out of line as your doctor. But at this moment he wasn't your doctor, he was Miguel. The man who soothes your sleepless nights, the man who sticks with you even off duty, the only man who cared enough. He didn't say anything else, he simply looked at you with disappointment and sadness,

“They told me the pain only gets worse from here,” you humor a laugh. “If there's a worse pain than what i have right now, I don't think—I can only imagine what that would be like.”

“You didn't wanna die.” he interrupts, a frown evidently shown on his face. “You told me, you're scared.”

He looked almost devastated, well he is. It was obvious just from the look of his eyes, he wanted you to answer, and he wanted you to answer truthfully.

You breathe in, the smile falling soon enough. “I know, I am, I really am scared.”

“But I've been—it’s been like this for four years, how long will I trap myself in this situation? How long will I keep making myself suffer? Im just… tired. I want to live, I really do but if living means staying inside the hospital walls and consisting of lab tests, excruciating pains, and breathing difficulty, then I don't think that’s living at all.” 

He looks away, dawning on him just how selfish he sounded. Asking you why, barging in hoping to convince you otherwise. It was selfish of him. All this time he was focused on what he wanted and needed, constantly going to extents just to save you for his sake, 

He nods, “I'm sorry I just—” he paused looking back at your eyes. I really wanted you to stay he wanted to say it out loud, but he felt it was not necessary. “When is it?”

“Tomorrow.”

His eyes widened briefly, looking at her with disbelief once again. “So soon?” his voice was weak, a fleeting look of desperation in his eyes. 

“I asked for that.” you looked away fiddling with the blankets. That’s when he noticed you weren't sitting up like you usually were, if his predictions were correct it was because your body was too weak to manage sitting up. It was once again this illness, slowly eating away your life against your will, 

He felt his heart sink deeper, feeling more affected than he ever was. He wanted to shout, he wanted to convince you to retract your signage, anything to make you stay, but that wasn't his decision to make.

It was yours, it was your right.

He won't defy you as everyone else did. If it’s truly what you wish then he would support you, no matter how heavy it feels to the heart, he’ll wholeheartedly support you like he always has. 

“Then…”

He pauses, causing you to look back at him weakly waiting for him to continue.

“I promised to take you to see the ocean right.” 

It was his turn to look away, suppressing the tears that threatened to fall. Its been decades since he last cried, yet he finds himself weak for you, refusing to let the tears fall. Not wanting you to see just how affected he was, he didn't want you to worry knowing you will. 

“Let's go see the ocean, okay? Before you go,” he had to pause every few seconds, afraid another word will cause him to break down. "Like I promised."

“Let’s go see the ocean together.”

﹐

It was almost dawn, he never left your room ever since that conversation. He stayed all day and during the night, watched you fall to sleep, rubbing the back of your hand as you doze off. He felt his heart break with every passing hour, 

Knowing that it’ll come eventually. The time he’ll have to let you go.

He watched as your calm expression fall to slumber, it was the first time he’s ever seen you so serene. You would always have this tired expression as if everything in the world pained you, for some reason he knew some parts of that was true. This life truly failed you, you deserved better.

Yet you smiled and accepted your fate. He could remember just how happy you looked when he broke the news about the ocean,

At that moment, he witnessed genuine happiness from you. It was the first time he saw your full smile, it wasn't a half smile, not a small one, it was real. And he loved it, he wanted to look at it forever, to admire it as much as he can. Perhaps that's what made this so bittersweet,

Despite his desire for you to stay, he prioritized what you wanted, what you needed.

As long as you’re happy, he's at peace.

“[name], it’s time to go,” he whispers, gently waking you up. Stuffing his keys deep into his pocket, “Let’s go see the ocean, amor.”

He didn't care about what he was saying nor what he just called you, he was just focused on fulfilling your wish. He needed to hurry before the sunrise, he wanted to watch it with you. If this would be the last sight you see before you go, he wanted it to be the most beautiful youve ever seen.

Your eyes fluttered open, greeted by Miguel picking your limp body up in his arms to carry you toward his car. He was gentle, careful not to hurt or cause you discomfort, it made your heart leap with joy and ache at the same time, 

“We’re going to see the ocean now?” you ask excitedly, a bit of rasp to your voice from the sleep. His face scrunched up, biting his lip to suppress his emotion.

“Yes,” he responds, attempting to sound just as thrilled as you are. “Yes, we are.”

The drive wasn't long, nor was it eventful. It was mostly silent, with a few remarks from you ranting about how much you loved the beach as a child and how excited you are to see it along with the sunrise. He was fulfilling two wishes of yours, you couldn't be more grateful.

On the other hand, he drove silently. Responding to your stories ever so often, occupied with his sinking heart. He was happy, truly, seeing you look so lively,

It was the most life he’s ever seen from you in your four years of seeing each other in the hospital walls. It hurts him a tad bit, how easily pleased you are, how failed you are by everything in your life.

He had to gather himself, he needs to be happy for your sake. Seeing you peer through the window with a smile, it was like your eyes were shining with excitement, it caused a bittersweet smile to his lips. “We’re here.”

The two of you were just in time, a few minutes before dawn passes with the sunrise on its way. He carefully picked you up from the car, seeing your smile from the corner of his eyes, it was the brightest, at least the brightest smile he's ever seen from you. And you smiled a lot all throughout that four years.

He felt the sand sinking his shoes as he walked with you in his arms, walking until he reached a spot he deemed perfect. “I can stand,” you eagerly spoke, looking at him expectantly.

He would've refused if this was just a normal day, but this was your last day. He wouldn't reprimand you any joy you want. With support, he drops you carefully, holding your waist and your hand on the other. Your legs trembled, they hurt but you ignored it, too busy looking ahead to even feel the excruciating pain all throughout your body. He made sure to hold and support you properly,

“It’s pretty,” you mumble, mesmerized by how the sun slowly made its way to exposure.

You looked ahead, while he looked at you. “It is.”

He knew it wouldn't be long until the tears form, so he savored the moment to admire your face before his eyes blur out with tears. “Should we sit?”

You nod, looking at him briefly before you return your gaze to the front. Taking in the breeze and the scenery, it was painful yet beautiful. You wouldn't ask for more,

“Thank you, Miguel.”

He was silent, letting you speak. “I never thought I could be this happy, but I’m really really happy. My heart could jump!” chuckling at your own words, you turned to him. Tears were evident from your eyes, he disliked it, it made his tears threaten to fall as well. “I really really am happy. Truly.”

“No,” he spoke, looking ahead this time. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for everything.”

You looked at him in confusion, letting out a short laugh. “But for four years i was just at that very bed. What did I do for you worth gratifying for?”

“Existing.” he says calmly, “thank you for existing.”

It was your turn to be quiet, looking at him and observing his expression carefully. It was the first time he outwardly showed emotions, tears brimming in his eyes. They made yours fall even more. “Thank you for existing and waking my heart.”

“Waking… your heart?”

“Yes,” he responds, with a smile. The very first time you saw his smile, it was a sight truly. A beautiful one, almost on par with the ocean and the sunrise. “Thank you for making me love again.”

His words were unexpected but you kept quiet, taking in his confession. He was pouring his heart out, calmly and painfully. It was almost confusing, yet it was beautiful.

“I loved you the moment you smiled at me. The moment you looked at me in a way only you will—I know it’s odd, I know it’s unusual but I haven't stopped loving you since.” he looked back at you, holding you in his arms as you both sat on the sand.

He had a look of hurt, but a look of acceptance mixed in with a thousand emotions he had on display “When I look at you, I don't want to look at anything else but you.”

“I want to care for you, I wanted to protect you—I wanted to save you.” he was letting himself cry. For the first time in years, he allowed himself to be vulnerable “I won't ask you to return that love. Because it's yours and yours only.”

“Miguel.” you barely whispered, ignoring the pain that gnawed on your body. 

“I'll keep loving you,” “I'll love you today, ill love you tomorrow, I'll love you forever.”

You both were a crying mess and for some reason, it felt right. The serene breeze of the ocean, the light of the sunrise. It was a perfect moment, the pain was indescribable but none of you would have wanted anything else at this moment. You didn't speak, only looked at him as he does to you. Even without words he knew, the way you stared at him with tears-stained eyes, he knew you understood, he knew you heard him.

He stifles a short laugh, “It's a bit unfortunate for me but if I were to fall in love once more, I’ll choose you over and over again.”

You laid your head on his chest, letting him hold you in your last moments. Closing your eyes, pushing out the tears which didn't seem to stop,

“Until I'm nothing but a fading memory to this world, ill keep loving you even then.”

“If I was given a chance to live, I would have wanted to spend it with you like this as well.” you smile at his chest, intertwining your fingers with his. Feeling yourself falter and falter every passing moment, “There wasn't a moment where your love wasn't reciprocated, Miguel.”

He held you, tightly but gently. Tight enough to not let you go, gently enough to allow you to feel his love. Your words strike his heart in every right way, in every painful way.

“Thank you for unknowingly saving me.”

As the sun rise, the silence of the place allowed him to grieve, giving him space to accept what has passed. He stared ahead, caressing your hair gently, as you depart in his arms. Where you belonged, where you wanted to be.

It was a wonder why the skilled doctor always had a scowl on his face, who knew the patient at room 224 was all it takes to wake his sleeping heart.

this was a fun to write (●'◡'●) bandaids for everyone?

( :̲̅:̲̅:[̲̅:★:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

( :̲̅:̲̅:[̲̅:★:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

( :̲̅:̲̅:[̲̅:★:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

this is unedited!!!

[saiyanprincessswanie]

SaiyanPrincessSwanie Reading List Week 223 & 224

A/N: Thank you again to those who recommended fanfics or tagged me. 💜 This week had me reading 25 fics. Absolutely amazing fics here. This has been so much fun for me and I hope you enjoy my reading lists.

As always these will be listed in no particular order. None of these stories are mine. I’m just signal-boosting them. The author is listed next to the title. My goal is to signal boost writers and spread positivity in the community.  💜💜

Click HERE to see what I will or won’t read. This is very important.

Click HERE for past reading lists.

For my Masterlist click HERE.

Please make sure you’re reading the warnings on every story. They range from dark to fluff. Do Not Read if you are under 18 years old. These stories are meant for adults only. You’re responsible for your own media consumption.

Header by @fictional-affairs

Page-break by @whimsicalrogers

If you can, please reblog these lists so they can reach more people on Tumblr.

I love you 3000 💜 Missy

Love of my Life - (Bucky x Reader) - @saiyanprincessswanie

Party Prep - (Curtis x Honey) - @sweater-daddiesdumbdork

A Hunters Promise - Part 2 - (Sam Winchester x Reader) - @b3autyfuld1sast3r

I Hate It When You're Drunk - 9 - (Bucky x Reader) - @deliciousangelfestival

Bad day at work (2) - (Jake x Reader) - @holylulusworld

Old Habits - (Bucky x Reader) - @labella420

Captain's Boinking Escapades - @mercurial-chuckles

Here's Stud - (Bucky x Reader) - @navybrat817

Unexpected In the Shower - (Nick x Reader) - @buckets-and-trees

The Imperfect Couple - 2 - (Bucky x Reader) - @deliciousangelfestival

Confessions of Mr. Grumpaholic - (Bucky x Reader) - @mercurial-chuckles

Everything Happened So We'd Meet - (Lee x Reader) - @foxgloveprincess

Lumberjack Tales - The Hairy Bear (2) - (Ari x Reader) - @holylulusworld

The Imperfect Couple - 3 - (Bucky x Reader) - @deliciousangelfestival

Shifting Tides Pt. 3 - (Ari x Reader) - @labella420

Moving in Slow Motion - (Bucky x Reader) - @navybrat817

An eternity together - (Steve x Reader) - @nekoannie-chan

The open door - @nekoannie-chan

Fancy For Love - (Bucky x Reader) - @caplanbuckybarnes

In Your Arms - (Jake x Reader) - @bigtreefest

This Is Love - (Bucky x Reader) - @jobean12-blog

Clashes of Thunder - (Raiden, Thor) - @caplanbuckybarnes

Lying in your arms, so safe and warm - (Andy x Reader) - @worksby-d

Bucky and the Books - (Bucky x Reader) - @buckets-and-trees

His Inheritance - Part 35 - (Steve x Reader) - @jtargaryen18

[pinksmonkey]

The Ultimate Byler Evidence/Analysis List (Part 3)

If you missed parts 1 or 2, here they are: Part 1 and Part 2

198. Bi Mike Masterpost

199. Byler Parallels Masterpost

200. The Choices The Writers Made

201. The Significance Of Mileven Not Getting Each Other

202. The Importance Of Byler Getting Each Other

203. The Importance Of Byler Getting Each Other - Part 2

204. Moments I've Been Thinking About

205. The Painting Ensures Byler Endgame

206. Byler Canon-Comforts

207. Will's Season 5 Arc

208. Elmike's Transition

209. Mike, Will, And El's Individual Arcs Each Season

210. Mike Wheeler's Playlist

211. I Ship It Because It's Endgame

212. I Love You On Your Bad Days

213. Mike Wasn't Lying When He Said "I Love You" And It Doesn't Rule Out Byler Endgame

214. Mike Was Thinking About Will When He Jumped Off The Cliff

215. Will Needs Mike

216. So Many Things Wrong With This Post

217. Why Byler Is Endgame

218. Amount Of Byler Scenes Compared To Mileven

219. Mike's Choice Of Words

220. Fundamentally A Story About Queer Themes

221. We Should Talk About This Way More

222. The Gay Beautician/Hairdresser Trope

223. If Byler Doesn't Happen

224. You Only Need To Understand Five Things

225. Who's Getting Books And Who Isn't?

226. Crafting A Confession

227. You're The Heart

228. Pocketgate Details You Might Have Missed

229. The Piggyback Drawing

230. Green Socks

231. Byler Fights VS Mileven Fights

232. I Didn't Say It, You Didn't Have To

233. Heroes

234. The Difference Between The Monologues Is Obvious

235. "Something I Never Stop Thinking About"

236. The Importance of Tiger Pride

237. Why Heroes Will Be Back

If you have anything else you think should be added to the list, let me know, leave a link in the comments or a repost. I will continue updating this list with any new awesome analyses. Happy Byler-ing! ☺️

238. Season 1 Mike Queercoding

239. Fandom's Reaction To The Will Is Gay Theory Repeating With Mike

240. Tropes and Byler

241. The Superman Reference

242. Milevens Are Insane

243. Mileven's Season

[annelucia]

Moments in novel I want to read again:

60- "beast trying to make itself small"

63-Kiolle! Yuder pretending to not know him

66-Meet Enon

95- Kiolle! contract with Yuder

100- Devran and Gakane get to know about Yuder's hand

101-healing Yuder's hand(faints after)

119- Parade

122- Meet Revlin

128- Meet Lusan

134- Rescue from Apeto

152- Kiolle! helping Yuder with Apeto's second son murder

154- manifesting as Omega

162- Kishiar recalls how Yuder looked like during manifestation(fear)

172- Meet Ejain

175- "you are the only one who can command me"

179- Red Stone's energy transfering

182--Nathan is suspicious of Yuder, Alik becomes awakened

187- "make him mine"

194- Yuder and Kishiar outing

200- first kiss

208- Yuder smilling bc Revlin compliments Kishiar( Apeto trial)

211- Yuder&Nathan talks abot Kishiar

222- find 10 ways to clean ashes with your power

224- Kishiar visits Yuder's room, Yuder's uses Red Stone

230- Yuder vs Kiolle (1st after oath)

238- meeting Ejain 2nd time, saves him

247- Ejain and Yuder have a talk about power

251- Yuder's smile melts heart of mage Lorna

258- Yuder's weakness

261- Yuder convinces Micalin to cooperate

264-Ejain's "be my friend", Yuder's left behind

267- Kishiar and Ejain talk about Yuder

276- Ejain awakening

283- Penpen vs Yuder

285- aftermath of fight

299- Connection's first appearance

296- Kishiar feeding Yuder

300- Yuder initiating kiss

301- Yuder's tells everyone of his weakness

307- Yuder's and Kishiar night stroll forest date

310- Yuder's healing from venom

317- Kishiat meet Nahan

321- Yuder's no. 1

326- Smut but not all the way

335- Enon isn't human

342- Elle!

350- Yuder intimidates commander in prison

362- Yuder's going to prison

374- Kishiar kisses back of Yuder's hand

375- Shuden, Hellem

384- "did you chew on reaper's grass" swollen lips

385- Kiolle(just existing)

396- Nathan being worried about Yuder

397- Yuder's taking Enon's experimantal pill to fight southeners

401- Kishiar's death flashback

417- Nathan vs Nahan

419- Kishiar trolling nobles

422- Yuder jumping into Kishiar's embrace

430- 1st Duke Tain's laboratory

434- Enon- hyung !

438- Kanna&Yuder talk about Yuder's fear

443- Enon tells Kishiar about himself

445- "Yudrain" and connection talk

453- Kanna knows!

458- Yuder's confession, Kishiar blushing

460- Smut

467- Kishiar's emperor sword mark

470- Yuder, Kishiar& Emperor meal

480- Kiolle(meeting in tailor shop)

486- learning to dance

494- Gakane worring about Yuder's dance

495- Yuder heals Hosanna

499- Dance

501- Wine gift

507- Yuder&Gakane dance/ Gakane's past

513- Drunk Yuder

517- Kanna talks with Yuder about why she's avoiding him

521- Yuder, Kishiar & Empress meal

534- Examining Emperor

539- Yuder&Kishiar use connection forcefully

550- Emperor's healing

560- Jealous Kishiar

563- Kishiar dreams of Yuder's death

566- Yuder knows that Kanna knows!

567- Yuder&Nathan talks about Kishiar

569- Yuder tells Kishiar truth

574- Kishiar cries after Yuder tells him truth

579- " only one who can command me"/ Imperial family dinner

586- Kiolle!( talks with Yuder)

590- Kishiar interogates Hosanna

592- Emperor visits Cavalry

600- East& West 2nd Cabvalry recruitment

601- Yuder&Nathan talks about Kishiar

604- Gloe

606- Yuder tells Kishiar that he killed him

609- Prisoner's second gender manifestation accident

613- Yuder's heat(past and present life)

622- Commander inauguration

630- Marin

640- First Duke Tain's monster research

647- Southern's Cavalry base

655- Undercover mission(Akit, Yudrain)

662-Elpkins

663- Reneve

709- Yuder and Nathan on mission together

713- Yuder pissed off bc southener crushed his candies

718- Nathan about Kishiar and Yuder's relationship

728- First cracks in the south

[rwby-confess]

Confession #224

[xxxkokin]

lolita is not a love story.

part II

several times humbert mentions that he convinces lolita of what would happen if she tattled, if she went to the police and confessed to a man having abused her, that she would be sent to a reformatory prison for delinquent children such as herself. he resorts to techniques of verbal manipulation, physical abuse (several times grabbing her wrist or using his size against her), and various rewards (candy, seeing new sights across america, lavish cuisine, etc).

it becomes even more and more relevant through the story that dolores gets bored, and rightfully repulsed by humbert’s constant infatuation with her. in the second half of the book, she displays clear reluctance to participate in the sexual fantasies of humbert, and yet he ignores it. he does not even question for a moment what dolores had wanted, simply thinking, “oh, my little pet” or “the fool” in reference to his “child”.

his only emotional reaction to her sobs after the deed was done was laughter and glee after he retracted one of his promises. what she wants recedes into the background as humbert becomes more and more occupied in keeping his grip on her rather than making her feel loved or protecting her.

i do believe, however, that it would be incorrect to call dolores haze a victim. yes, she sustained years of sexual and physical abuse via humbert humbert. however, the word victim implies powerlessness. whenever she could, she took advantage of his desperation for her own monetary gain, to sustain a lavish lifestyle, and to pursue her dreams of becoming an actress.

“I saw Lolita’s eyes, and they seemed to be more calculating than frightened.”

While humbert drinks himself into a stupor, dolores makes herself busy driving him crazy with jealousy. eventually she manages to escape him. humbert’s final departing gift to lolita before they are separated for three years are seven books and a bouquet of flowers, which he drove sixty miles to fetch. at this point the reader has seen dolores accuse him of rape and indecency with her when she was a child, and yet the pathetic softness of offering such a gift before his own abandonment strikes pity into the heart of the audience.

dolores and humbert reconcile after three years of separation. she is in desperate need of money and begs humbert to consider her situation. he could not kill her. he was in possession of a gun and yet finds himself even more obsessed with her than he was the first day he met her. he offered, twice, if she would come with him to live out a beautiful and happy life together.

she said no.

humbert, after this rejection, realizes that he has not been a saint, experiencing the first ounce of character development that 224 pages has taken him. he opens his eyes to the fact that he had whisked away her childhood, her freedom, and still after all of this proclaims he is still in love with dolores. H.H. was not in love, and lolita is not a love story. every description the reader receives of the evasive dolores haze is through a lens of objectification and idealism.

dolly haze was just a memory to him.

[elliemarchetti]

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures (Part VI)

@jilymicrofics and @microficmay prompt 24

Prompts: Blackmail; Elation

Words: 224

“You can’t blackmail him into giving your stuff back,” James said, so sensible and out of character she rolled her eyes. She thought he would understand and support her, not be some kind of paternal voice of reason.

“I don’t care what means I have to use to achieve my goal, as long as he no longer has anything of mine I’ll be happy to get detention,” Lily retorted, suppressing a wave of anger she kept sedated until now. She hadn't told anyone how the end of her friendship with Snape still made her feel, but after their afternoon at the Herbology greenhouse, it had been almost natural to look for Potter at breakfast the next day, and after class they ended up chatting in the shade of an oak while gorging on sandwiches he had stolen from the kitchen, almost as if he suspected all those confessions and laughter would make her hungry.

“You could’ve told me sooner, you know I crave for a good excuse to sneak into the Slytherin’s dorms to wreak havoc,” he replied, adjusting the thick glasses on his nose.

“Are you perhaps admitting you’re behind of what happened yesterday?” she asked, amused, leaning her back against the tree’s wrinkled bark.

“I wasn’t, but I will be elated do a lot better than that if you ask me nicely.”

[simpforchuchu]

POV : You are dating Tsuji and Shibaman is the third wheel

Your Insta 🌟

Liked by tsuji,todoroki and 187 others

Y/n He loves me back. @/tsuji ❤️

|| tsuji ❤️

|| shibaman GIRL… FINALLY.

--》y/n shut up 😭

--》shibaman I’m happy for you two 💕

--》y/n THANK YOU 😭😭💕

|| fujio That was definitely unexpected

--》y/n I know 😌

--》shibaman You were trying to confess to him since middle school…

--》y/n SHUT UP

Liked by tsuji,shibaman and 197 others

Y/n 😍😍😍

|| shibaman Where did you even find that thing ?

--》odajima I saw them in the festival yesterday

--》y/n yep

--》odajima Nice pic btw 👍

--》todoroki They are cute together

--》odajima You know who else would look cute together?

--》todoroki not us

--》y/n poor odajima 💔

|| shibaman I want one too

--》 tsuji I will buy one for you bro 😉

--》y/n 😒😒

Liked by tsuji,fujio and 200 others

Y/n My beautiful boyfriend 🥺🥺❤️❤️

|| tsuji You are the beautiful one babe ❤️

--》y/n sHUT UP 😭😭

--》shibaman 🤢🤢

--》y/n don’t be jealous

|| tsukasa Even his face looks calmer after dating you…

--》y/n we are trying to stay away from trouble bro 🫡

--》tsuji just her

--》y/n nO

--》todoroki don’t make me talk

--》tsuji 🫡🤐

Liked by fujio,todoroki and 224 others

Y/n 🐰🦈 @/tsuji ❤️

|| yasushi i have to admit this is cute

--》y/n I knooow ;)

|| nakagoshi Who took this pic senpai ?

--》y/n the third wheel @/shibaman

--》shibaman I hate you, yk this right?

--》y/n 💅🏻💅🏻

--》tsuji ❤️

Liked by jamuo,tsukasa and 205 others

Y/n Shiba appreciation post 🥰💕 Love you bro 🥰💕

|| tsuji come here @/shibaman 💕

--》shibaman Unfortunately I love you too😒💕

--》y/n 🥺💕

|| todoroki sometimes i feel sorry for him

--》shibaman They buy me milkshake 🙂

--》y/n Yeah it is a win-win situation 🫡

Liked by fujin,todoroki and 203 others

Y/n Why this dude always looks angry ?😠

|| todoroki when did you even take this pic ?

--》y/n You were so focused on punching that thing ✍🏻

Liked by tsuji ,fujio and 222 others

Y/n I miss his long hair 🥺❤️

|| tsuji yeah me too💔

--》shibaman We need to dye his hair again

--》y/n nO

|| todoroki is this pic from… ?

--》y/n yes, from your birthday

--》todoroki share yourself too

--》y/n no I’m not that pretty

--》tsuji don’t ever say this again.

Liked by nakagoshi,shibaman and 223 others

Y/n I just said be cool not angry… 💕 @/tsuji @/shibaman @/todoroki

|| shibaman we are cool ?

--》y/n no you’re not 😒

|| tsuji actually we look cool

--》y/n yes babe ❤️

--》shibaman 😠😠

--》y/n 🥰🥰

Liked by odajima,fujio and 208 others

Y/n He’s already tired… old man @/shibaman

|| shibaman yOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID LETS STOP ??

--》y/n liar 😒😒😒

--》todoroki you are like kids sometimes…

--》fujio where are you going?

--》y/n It’s surprise 🤐

|| tsuji WHY ARE YOU TWO GOING WITHOUT ME ?

--》y/n 😙😙🤫🤫

--》tsuji what’s that even supposed to be mean ??

Liked by shibaman,todoroki and 232 others

Y/n I waited too long for you. But I’m happy that l’m finally with you. Happiest birthday to my other half ❤️ @/tsuji

|| tsuji I love you ❤️

--》y/n ❤️

|| todoroki so you were going to buy cake…

--》shibaman she literally said “If you don’t come with me I ruin all your jackets…” SHE IS SCARY

--》y/n Shut up 🥰

|| odajima happy birthday tsuji-kun

--》tsuji thanks man

|| fujio happy birthday bro

--》tsukasa happy birthday Tsuji

--》tsuji thanks guys 🙏🏻

[tccconfessionsfagg]

( ᷄ᾥ ᷅ ) ERIC SEX.......

Confession 224

[delicatebluebirdruins]

the whispering skull reread

some of these notes will be added to my revision card glossary that I spent *mumbles* a lot of time and effort making

Page 28 "If our paths cross again we'll go ahead"

page 40 "Dark Spectre in Epping Forest and Shining Boy in Upminster"

page 43 mama good job- Lockwood's parents haunt the house and him

page 49 I love the Skull

page 53 Fittes having their own private furnace... I wonder if they actually use it

page 59 Saunders description

page 61 Stepney phantasm

page 64 George and Joplin bonding and Lucy being bored

page 79 I really want the sensitives to form a fanclub for Lucy

page 80 jealousy thine name is lucy

(24th October) page 88 realising the coffin is made of iron is so good good 117 oh no who stole the mirror? (I do like the show having them find out without being told)

page 137 "You only have to look at people to arouse their savage rage" lmao

page 152 "died of fright" I love the second casualty of the boneglasse's power

Page 158 hello jealous Lucy welcome back

page 166 "Flo Bones annoyed me" comes through loud and clear

25th October

169 "Mists swirled, the new night darkened round us. Ghosts came"

171 George and the garden hose

184 "you know about Lockwood's old master? my surpise (and mild resentment) was evident in my voice"

213 "is it just me or do bad things happen to people who have anything to do with Bickerstaff?" not just you Lockwood

216 actual use of Tom O'Shadows

224 George your ears... "death is fugitive" love this quote

229 Lockwood's shorts are so funny

232 Portland Mews incident? I wonder what happened there

26th October

235 "George is suffering" really Lucy? you don't say

238 Lockwood sensing the Skull speaking but not hearing it is great

242 "it was brief, pungent and to the point" what did he say

246 lmao George

252 Lockwood's smile

257 them not telling Lucy they were bringing the Skull is still really shitty

270 "George was between us. We protected him on either side"

276 "Give us back our bones"

278 Kipps is here

290 Bickerstaff demanding information from Wilberforce

292 Fucking Shaw

308 Lucy thinking Winkman killed Carver is still very strange (Occam's Razor isn't always right)

313 catacomb or ossuary 314 FLO!

321 "his friend Joplin has been here for the last two hours"

325 it's the necklace! "pretty silverlinks, with a small diamond suspended as a pendant"

327 "Silver- jacketed flunkies, identical down to the dimples in their chins..."

328 what happened to Grace Peel?... heels? worn by Lucy? and "sleek haired, sleek-faced men" and child waiters (why)

330 "You look terrific, Luce. You might have been born to this."

334 Long Hugh Henratty and conversation about George's sticky fingers when he is displeased

27 Oct

342 "you are their inspiration" looking over the quote as type this up I wonder how much the Orpheus Society really knew

355 "I was trying not to think of upstairs either"

363 glad they gave Mrs Winkman the line "has so exercised the men..."

367 Lockwood? who are you thinking of?

375 "he's shot his way through on the upside that's one less for us" optimistic Lucy

385 hilarious Lockwood "If you judge success by the number of enemies you make, that was a highly successful evening"

391 fininshed the Confessions of Mary Dulac

398 worried Lockwood

408 not the time guys

415 hello? what's wrong with ghost

428 jinkies my glasses

430 Joplin praising them for finding and reading the Dulac book is so funny

438 what you deserve Skull

443 Suck it Bickerstaff

447 I LOVE Lucy describing Lockwood here

453 Kipps speach is so, so good.

456 Legend "at that distance, I'm totally short-sighted. I couldn't see a thing"

458 I want to read the newspaper articles in full (all the ones in the series)

462 Clever George asking questions

464 DEPRAC mole

467-470 secret room time

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

when olivia matures into BravoCat • bravocat confesses • FANTASTIC PHANTASM • 224 • When Both Answers are Wrong • I Knew God Once • You Didn't Have to Say THAT • It was nice to know you even if • 333

Bandcamp ♪ YouTube

[moonriseblueeyes]

About Me Tag Game

I was tagged by @fireplceashes. Thank you Jenna 😊

rules: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes (i guess...they're more grey though) // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETICS

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean (I fine FEAR in the ocean) // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISCELLANEOUS

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend (more like "crazy aunt" friend who is arguably a bad influence) // i live by a certain quote ("fortune favors the bold") // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

This was fun, no pressure tags: @moderatelyluckypenny, @theannoyeddragon82, @kaleidoskuls, @human--beans, @lonelypersonhere, @nooneisstraight, @likegoldintheair, @swashbuckling-chicken, @enbee-ai, @lesducks, @bethhiraeth, @elpantalones, @lynx-224, @storybook-tiles, @blazeturbo102

[tdlosk-confessions]

how about kuboyasu and his two yapping boyfriends saiko and kaidou (god, and why are they both twinks what)

[Confession 224]